Deep and shallow

5 years, 5 consecutive years that I buried myself in school, I don’t have enough time for love➖ as I thought.

I’m living here in Canada, Toronto to be exact. My dreams take me away from my family, that once in my life, I’d never felt that I belong to them, so my decision to move isn’t a hard one.

The first year of studying here is difficult to take by a woman who raised being an introvert person, and pessimistic at the same time, and it’s me, Charmaine. I’d love to sit up in the corner and thinks all my flaws that I haven’t realize I have before. I took this routine, over and over again.

Until one day, where my story has begun, I found myself crying while I’m sitting inside my car, readying to go to school, and there, he knocked.

I always see this man roaming around the village, and he looks familiar, I thought he is my neighbor. After he knocked, I opened the window, I look up to him, shyly and unpowerful, “Are you alright?” he said. Then there, I nod, and closed my eyes, I feel him, walking towards to the front passenger seat and sat there, I opened my eyes, I saw him, giving his hanky to me. I get it, then we talked.

Deim is harmless, and chivalrous. Yes, he’s Deim, he’s the only son of the owner of this village. I feel so comfortable when I’m with him. We became friends, bestfriends. Because of him, I’d moved out to my comfort zone, my own shell has broken so I’m free➖ he changed me. To the typical nerdy school girl, I become an instant superstar in the school, famous, georgeous, dean’s lister (I’m smart, but became smarter) Name it, what y’know about “superstar,” because that’s what most of the people describe me, but I don’t see myself as one.

Year has passed and he became flirty and clingy, then afterwards, he confessed to me, he has a feelings for me, but I feel so bad for him, he fell to the wrong person, it’s not that I don’t like him, yes, he’s perfect, every girl is dreaming to find this kind of guy but➖ I left my heart in my own home, I left it to the guy I loved first and I promised that I’ll be back, to love him again. So we hold on.

I explained it to Deim, I don’t want to hurt him, but he stayed.

After 3 years, by journey has done. The only thing I will do to achieve my dreams is to go back where I came from. And what’s new by now, is I’m with him, he’ll come with me. He never stopped loving me. He know I can’t love him back, but he’s there, when I need someone to cry on, when I need a helping hand, when I need love. We arrived at Manila, peacefully. All memories were flashing back to my mind. And one of those memories, is that I loved the wrong person, at a wrong time. And that person is what I want to see first than to anyone, he never leave, because I’m the one who is, but many things have changed, and one of those is my feelings for him.